So a blog post completely out of the ordinary shenanigans…but I just couldn’t help myself.
I think it is evident how much society has opened up to sexuality over the years. There once was a time (the beloved Victorian era) where simply showing off a woman’s ankles was considered heavily erotic, contrasting to this conservative nature comes society today, where it seems like there are only so many pieces of clothing you can take off before your naked…and still…”uh…wait I’m not turned on yet…the on button…uh where did it go?” *searches for remote control*. Well, in my head, either kinkiness has increased as a result of our openness to sexuality OR it has always been there and people are just more comfortable in voicing it. Perhaps it is a nice 50-50 cocktail blend…with pretty colours.
With our dearest Rihanna whaling (yes, for that is how she sings, she whales…like a great white) about S&M to Eva Longoria openly discussing her preference to be tied up with silk scarves, I’m pretty sure we’re at the panicle of sexuality thus far. But the question remains, what is going through people’s heads when they find and latch on to that to freaky little obsession we can now tag as a fetish? Well I think (quite obviously) it stems from their experiences. Needless to say a person is a product of what they experience and how they cognitively process the world. Everyone’s experiences and genetics are unique and thus we have a vast population of little freaks running around that try to act normal. But quite honestly, if we didn’t have this idea of “normal” in society that everyone can abide by…I think we’d be pretty damn scared to go out. We think people are weird because we don’t see what they’re doing in the same way that they see it (in light of their experiences of course). So we don’t understand it…if we don’t understand it, their behaviours become unpredictable…and therefore…they’re uhh… freakkin weirdoes man! So what interests me the most again falls in this idea of subjectivity, the subjectivity of sexual preferences.
Experiences influence everything we become as we develop and that influences your preferences. Take for example, people you are attracted to. Take a minute and think about the types of people you find most attractive, for this, let’s think about physical looks. What kinds of people look the most attractive to you? Have you every stopped and tried to think about this before? Now I know I am falling into the category of personal opinions on beauty but ideas on beauty are defiantly shaped by experiences and preferences (and preferences in turn are also caused by experiences) together, quite a bidirectional relationship if you ask me. But the point I am making here is experiences lay the foundation of how we perceive the world, and they contribute to our ideas of beauty and even sexual preference. I am not saying, however, that beauty and sexual preference necessarily go hand in hand, I am just using beauty as an example of how experiences are shaping how we perceive the world, since they do say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”…now, what is this “beholder” thinking? Getting to the roots of their experiences might just be getting to the source of their perceptions.
Now with beauty, I have read that people who are generally of the same attractiveness and personality tend to form relationships (i.e. friendships or partnerships). Quite evidently their ideas of beauty are slightly similar. Now… this is going to sound kind of off…but even simply looking at yourself in the mirror contributes to how you perceive beauty. You have grown up looking at yourself your whole life. You grow accustomed to the types of features you have on your face and you also grow accustomed to the features of people constantly surrounding you, like your family members. This process of growing “accustomed” to certain features would, in my opinion, contribute to our ideas of beauty. It would also make sense as to why attractive people generally find attractive partners, because they may have similar ideals in beauty as to what they have both grown accustomed to. For example, sometimes I find that a certain ethic group might find people of their own ethnicity most attractive. An Asian girl might find Asian men more attractive, perhaps because she has grown up around other members of her family who are also Asian and has all contributed to her ideas of beauty. And what about the natural experiences we go through growing up? People we meet or people we idolize? They defiantly play a huge role in our perceptions of beauty. When all is stripped down…they point I am making is experiences influenceàwhat you’re interested in, which influenceà what you like, which becomesà what you are attracted to.
Now with that being said…we can shift back to the main topic here which is this idea of kinky sexuality. So I don’t want to weird people out with this blog post…but I do have a secret question… I mean exactly how sexual are people? As in… what is considered normal? Now with so much openness on sexuality I feel like a Nun sometimes. Some of the things I’ve heard about… “hmm… well, that’s uh.. different” seems to be my only response. And that’s because… I can’t really judge a person if I don’t know their experiences that caused this fascination. Maybe if I had experienced what they have, in the same way through their eyes, I would find it attractive as well? But I think that’s why I am so interested in this odd topic. Why do people find some things so …uh arousing, when others sit back confused?
Now to this confuzzling question, fair readers of this pathetic blog, I lay in front of your two options: Maybe it is experiences… and the new option (to put it nicely); maybe their mentally… different. I personally prefer the first possibility… but keeping my options open I thought… hey maybe, you never know right? So we already went through how experiences may contribute to how we perceive beauty now in the same way experiences would contribute to what a person might find arousing. But how weird do people’s fetishes actually get? So maybe they come from experiences… but some of these weird ideas of sexuality really get me wondering… “Where the hell did that come from?” Like axillisim…. which is... getting it on with armpits (humanity, what have you come to? *facepalm* and I don’t even know how that’s even possible). Or bestiality (warning…) which is (cover your eyes…) doing it with dead, stuffed, REAL animals. So what the hell drives these attractions? I mean really? Armpits and dead animals? I-I just don’t want to live anymore.
When these kinds of ideas of sexuality come into play… I have no choice but to resort to what seems like the next logical option… which is mental instability. But I do think that if I would consider these things as acts of the mentally unstable, I would have to tweak my ideas of insanity. That would mean quite a chunk of people are mentally unstable…. But insanity is only insanity because these people are not normal. But what is considered normal is quite obviously what the masses conform to in a certain area. If the masses are into weird shit…that my friends is what’s normal. So maybe this openness to sexuality is a collection of the thoughts of the mass public… maybe humans in general are kinky. BUT I can’t help but point out that some fetishes are like ones of freaky sex offenders, kind of like the dudes you would see on Law and Order: SVU (high five if you watched it). What about dudes who like to dress up in women’s undergarments and then do … stuff (this post is so rated E for everyone…). Or men who enjoy getting it on with women dressed in Lolita-type clothes, kind of seems like a legal pedophile doesn’t it? It’s things like this, that make me wonder if it is some kind of mental issue… or just personality. The problem is humans are so vast in what makes them… and so different, that one size does not fit all, it seems like the possibilities are endless. Perhaps a possible answer: some stimuli that induce sexual arousal are caused by past experiences and some are caused by mental instabilities, maybe some are caused by both (yes… that seems like a satisfactory answer). But it seems so judgemental to say that someone is mentally unstable because they like to be spanked by a woman in a tight leather suit, thigh-high fishnets and a questionable whip maybe manz just lonely…*cough* (and apparently being whipped and electrocuted is the answer). But then again, who doesn’t want to feel accepted? No one wants to feel like they’re a freak. Maybe that’s why they go to these dominatrix type women in odd dungeons where they can be… mummified, whipped and spanked till their fantasies are satisfied without being judged. There is always more to a person, always a reason for everything perhaps we just don’t know their history well enough (that’s a friggen story to share with the kids huh?!).
Hmm well I guess in the end as long as your sexual preferences don’t hurt anyone or get in the way of someone living a normal healthy life they aren’t a problem. If that’s the case, then it would just be considered “weird” but that is just a word used to describe a novel situation or thing… something we haven’t heard about I guess… just something odd. But who doesn’t have odd sides to their personality… maybe we should just try to accept everyone is different in genetics and experiences? (This is how I brainwash myself into not judging people… brainwash…). But the subjectivity of sexual preferences will continue to intrigue me.
…I’m trying to think of something that makes me feel hearts and sheit but…it’s hard. O_o OH, people being accepting to others is something that makes me feel hearts… lets go with that.
Hearts & sheit! <3
~YE YEE!
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