Contradictions

--Painting by Kelsey Brookes--

Good ol' Freud

Just a little Art...

I haven't been blogging as regularly as usual *sigh* but I've been faithful! I swear, you've been in my thoughts litto bloggity... I simple haven't had the time to directly connect with you. *sniffles* I thought I'd just post some nice art.. so you don't feel alone. I is here litto bloggity... right here.

Sadly I don't know the artist of this AMAZING work. But whoever you are... If I ever meet you, I want to kiss your hands, and pinch your buttox.. (<--? why not...) O_o

Awesome wicked beautiful watercolour by Liu Yunsheng 

Love his colour use and style. Works by Benjamin Zhang 

Some cool street art! 

Solipsist

An amazing work directed by Andrew Thomas Huang

It's amazing how art can take you into a world of its own. When I first watched this I thought it was awesome... Blew litto Rav away matey! Maybe one day ill be able to pursue my secret dream of becoming a director (perhaps one day *sniff*).

What I got from this piece:
You can only truly know yourself through your own mind. Perhaps actualizing what you are through another will never prove successful, because you cannot understand the other. Interesting how in the end all the creatures that attempted to combine with another, couldn't... and there was a giant explosion. Its just sayin,  "hai, yeah, hi bud... that's not going to work out". O__o

Well this is an awesome work of art that I just wanted to share with you guys. :) Cheers till next time eat lossaa goodies and be happy :')

~YEE YEE!

Oh hai, it's just another day...

Finally off work! *sigh* I had quite an odd day today… A customer got pissed at me for making a mistake with his points redemption (-__-) and after much experimentation with the cash till thingy I just gave the dude a 10 dollar gift card… He freaked out and said I wasted his points because a gift card takes more points than getting individual items. So at this point I could not care less… -___- I gave the dude his card and blankly stared at him. Damn tourists… But the question is and will always remain for me… why can’t people control their damn emotions. Chill man they’re “points”. The dude was getting all worked up like he just lost 25 trillion dollars or something. Jezz calm down.  

                After my morning epic fail I sat down to peacefully drink some coffee with mama Sehmbi. But Ohh no, that’s too much to ask from the universe… As I took what seemed like my third sip of deliciousness, I somehow tipped the cup and spilled it all over the table, my seat and my mom, thankfully it wasn’t hot but common man, what’s wrong with you Rav!? So I grabbed some paper towels and cleaned up evidence of my oh-so-graceful nature.

                So I clean up the mess and sit down on my seat. The store was empty so I decided to sort some magazine that newly came in. I pick up the first and I realized the top covers of some had scratches on them and I started to feel the top… (I don’t know why, I just did it… don’t you ever touch scratches? It’s just natural). You know when you don’t notice something but when you look at it you notice it? Yeah that kinda happened, so I didn’t look at the magazine cover but when I paid attention to what was on the cover it ended up being some weird sexual adult magazine (we usually send those back to the magazine companies) and a man walked in from the side door only to see me touching the top of this magazine… the man commented “Ouhh so you having fun?” JESUS… just my luck… no, no I am not having fun. I looked like I was caressing the damn buttox of an erotically positioned female. Fantastic… just great. 

                So I finish up with the magazines and decided to grab a Dr. Pepper cherry, so if you know me you know I love Dr. Pepper… but I also love cherry coke… so when you mix them… it’s like heavenly. So anyways I grabbed this beverage from heaven and sat down. I saw some people about to come into the store so I opened the drink and chugged a bit (not a good idea… the bubbles… burpies.. oh jebus help me). So these people approach the cash to pay and I’m silently burping to myself hoping they don’t hear me… the last thing a person needs is the cashier burping in their face. By sheer force of habit I always say “excuse me” after a litto burpie… So as I was quietly (ninja styles) burping to myself I meant to say to a customer “thank you, have a good day” and ended up saying “Excuse you, have a good day” the man looked at me confused and maybe even slightly offended as I smiled and handed him his receipt. He took his receipt and walked out staring at me still and looking confused. So I got confused… then I realized what I said -___- But still I mean what’s the big deal… why did he get so confuzzled?

                For some reason today I kept dropping peoples change everywhere. I mean why pass a customer their change when you can just throw it at them right? No Rav, that’s not the way it works. Apparently I need to brush up on my basic motor skills.

 I was also especially slow today. I thought someone pumped gas and drove away. Only to realized I already cashed them out before, and was looking at someone else’s due amount. So that moment of panic when I think I had a drive-off… twas in vein….

So anyways… I had an odd day today. You know, its one of those days where you keep messing up on everything you attempt. I was so graceful today… truly (that was sarcasm…) After making stupid mistakes and spilling/dropping everything throughout the day I sat down to do some paper work and organize some bills. I ended up taking a miniature nap and I think I dreamt about samurais O_o. I realized that I’ve just been heavily sleep deprived and I feel like I can accurately attribute today’s consecutive failures and misunderstandings to that. Makes me realize how much I don’t want classes to begin again… gah. Sleep deprivation, exams, assignments, due dates, more coffee in your blood stream then blood O_O (ah yes, let the good times roll).  

But hey it’s just another day. -___-

Till next time lovers, tis Rav signing off!

~YEE YEE

Hearts&sheit… try to get some sleep… :’) 

LOL ....

We All Have Social Anxiety to a Certain Extent

I met a guy a few weeks back who said he had social anxiety. He was a chilled out dude and you wouldn’t think he felt anxiety around people because he looked relatively comfortable. We continued our conversation and he said he took pills for his anxiety. He said that when he was younger he thought   it was really “uncool”, but the older he grew the more he realized it was natural. We had a brief conversation on judgement, anxiety about the future and a little bit of psychology stuff. He was a cool cat, and it was nice to meet someone who was more… Mm open about things? Yeah I think that’s it. Usually when you meet people they don’t elaborate on their anxieties or talk much about their fears but this guy did, which was cool. Twas nice. Twas refreshing.

This guy struck me as an all-around good person, maybe sensitive and a little shy. We talked about anxieties and focused on how people miss out on life because their thinking too much about their past or are too fearful about their future. I was about to bust out a Buddha quote… but I figured it wasn’t the right time. But for you guys… this is what flashed in my head “the secret of health in body and mind is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” It’s definitely a hard thing to do that’s for sure. I know for me, living in the present is especially difficult. I’m constantly stressing about something stupid I might have said or how I know I have no future (here we go again, you get the stretcher I’ll get the chocolates… [to wake her up of course]). But the truth is we forget today for moments that have far past and for ones we don’t know. I guess in the end it all relates to having a sense of inner peace and being able to simply let go and just… be. You definitely need a sense of inner peace to be able to accept that you can’t control everything, and you need to let go.

We talked about how his social anxiety is related to how he has a fear of being judged. He joked around saying “there’s something about eye contact that freaks me out” after which I made direct eye contact with him and stared intently… while slowly twitching one eye. He just kinda stared at me… I hope he understood that was a joke… and I’m not really that creepy (but oh well). Through conversation I realized a lot of his fears were the same as mine. “You’re scared of judgement because you assume others judge you as harshly as you judge yourself”. I looked at him and he agreed. Can we assume those that are not scared of judgements are not as tough on themselves? Maybe we can maybe that’s why they’re so free.  

Everyone is scared of judgement to a certain extent, they are scared of being sliced apart and analyzed, they’re scared of being rejected and reminded that they don’t really have a purpose. A lot of people find their own purpose in others. The meaning of life you could say is fulfilled by appreciation. You are surrounded by people who like you, admire you and you are instantly given purpose. When someone likes you or appreciates you they give you permission to be what you are at that moment, its saying “hey, that’s acceptable” simple operant conditioning. When they like you, you feel special… the truth is everyone on this planet wants to feel special in some way, we want to know that we are important in some way, shape or form—we want purpose.

Flirting always confused me. One day I asked a (flirtatious) friend of mine… “hey… why do you flirt?” to which she responded “cuz its fun”. So I asked myself why she might feel like it’s fun. You are gaining approval from someone when you’re flirting back and forth with them. They are fuelling your sense of confidence, they are indirectly giving you purpose. I have never been able to flirt nor do I think I’ll be able to… jus sayin… that would be the most awkward conversation ever. The most I’ve done is used a super cheesy pick up line on (a really cute) dude who looked like he was a part of some sort of SWAT team or something… (I REGRET NOTHING… although any fragments of dignity I had may have virtually dissipated into the heavens above). So maybe the real reason why people are so scared of being judged is because there is that chance that the other person won’t like you—that moment when you are reminded you have no ultimate purpose.

When you’re afraid to approach someone because you’re scared they’re going to reject you, go for it anyways. Perhaps when our sense of purpose holds its roots in others we will continue to be afraid of judgement, it’s when you can pull that sense of purpose into a permanent spot within the self, is when peoples judgements towards you don’t matter. It’s a hard thing, but doable. So I guess approach an acquaintance and start talking… chances are that they’re feeling just as vulnerable as you are.

That’s all for now ladies and gents. It was refreshing to meet this sweet young fellow, hopefully I’ll bump into him again and get to have another conversation. Till next time Turrah! (yes that was an art attack reference and if you don’t know that show I don’t want to be your friend anymore… yes just leave. Never come back… okay I’m joking… but seriously what’s wrong with you?)

~YEE YEE!

Hearts&Sheit…and shitty pick up lines!

Ego, the Self, and Motivations

Its ridiculous how much clouds us from achieving true happiness. The worst thing is it's usually in ourselves and we fail to realize it... or maybe that can be a good thing. The fact that our happiness resides within ourselves can actually be good... perhaps that leaves room for improvement.

EGO
Ahhh where to begin on ego... So many people are obstructed by their egos and they don't even know it. They are easily tempered and fail to realize its source *shakes head in disappointment* I've heard some people say things like "ego is a good thing!" and I'm afraid I will have to disagree with this not-very-well-thought-out-opinion... What exactly is ego? A lot of people tend to confuse it with pride and they are NOT the same thing. Ego seems to be more internal while pride is external. Ego is attached to the self while pride is attached to something else. BUT this is not to say that the two are not linked... they can be. Ego seems to hold a sense of worth and self importance and is there from when you are a child and you learn to differentiate yourself from others (in my opinion). On the other hand I think pride can be build up... it is external and can be attached to things that have grown and can sometimes connect to this sense of self (with the ego). For example, people may be prideful of their talents and skills... like a dude who is amazing at mental math (I don't know why that popped up in my head) might be very prideful of this. Or a woman who can play guitar amazing. These talents or skills are external from the person but can attach to their ego or sense of self.

Ego tends to become a problem when it is not recognized. Usually when someone feels anger... there is a deeper root to a hurt ego. How could they do that to YOU? They didn't think about how YOU were feeling. And I know what your thinking right now probably something like "well Rav... you can't go about through life thinking your nothing and it's kinda hard not to get angry when people are so damn... STUPID sometimes" and to you my slightly hostile friend I say, yes that is true and it is hard to "get rid" of your ego. But in certain circumstances your ego really blocks you from feeling and realizing the important things. In such cases people need to do some introspection to figure out their true motives, but they never do and end up a giant emotional mess. Ever meet those people who know that they're wrong in an argument... they know they have no case (lol) but they continue to argue for the sake of arguing... well they only continue because their ego is on the line. When you get into an argument and you know your wrong but you refuse to say sorry... your not ready to drop your ego for someone you care about. Is a stupid ego really worth more than someone important to you? Fug no its not. And people tend to forget this over their egos. This ego that is so strongly connected to the self is important to people, and sometimes becomes more important than those around you... and in my opinion it really shouldn't.

Little story for you guys... (story time with Rav :D)
My brother an I never used to get along. EVER. It was war between us growing up. I always wanted a good relationship but it never worked, we were always arguing. Until one day I overheard my mom talking to a friend on the phone saying something like "when what two people are doing isn't working, its up to you to take the initiative to change the situation or nothing will ever change" and these words really sank in. So simple... so true. When I really thought about it I realized the only thing stopping me from making an active change in the situation was my ego. Why should I be nice first when he clearly doesn't care? Well if two people think with their egos and not their feelings... no one will ever make the first move. In life we always have situations like this... a mass mess of ego cycles that people just aren't ready to break. Oh suck it up will you? I really get sick of people sometimes.  I get frustrated that people care more about their egos then maintaining relationships... maybe its a matter of maturity. It really annoys me. (sorry little rant there)

ANYWAYS... back to the story. So I decided to make the first move. I started off by complimenting him every now and then and when he made little comments towards me I just ignored them rather then snapping back like I would usually do. If I had something negative to say... well I just wouldn't say it and when he did frustrate me I talked more about how it made me feel rather than accusing him of something. (interesting fact I've learned in life: Did you know the most offensive words to people are "you always" and "you never"... pay attention, people hate it. It is because you are assuming their actions. In doing so you are indirectly making a statement about who they are and implying you know them better. In order not to be offensive, point towards how you feel rather than things they have done). Eventually my brother began reciprocating my behaviour and slowly things just worked out. Today we're frikken buddies and head splitting laugh attacks fuelled by midnight trips to the grocery store mark our adventurous history together XD <3.

Moral of the story: Ego just gets in the way, let it go... you'll feel more peaceful I assure you.

This process of letting go of your ego is also what great people like Gandhi and Siddhartha Gautama talked about and tried to spread. How are you supposed to love other human beings equally when all of your energies are centred towards yourself? Let go people... you might win an argument this time and feed your ego but you actually didn't gain anything. Maybe you lost something in the process actually... maybe you lost someone's respect for you? The point I am making is... well, it won't get you anywhere except stuck in your own head.

Essential side note: for those who have poked fun at me for being "peaceful" and not reciprocating some retards (lol) instigation to "fight" or "argue" it's not because I don't get angry... and its not because I am scared. It's a matter of self control and patience. Someday you will realize this young grasshopper *pats head*. Its easy to lash out on people, but it always takes more thought to control your actions. Take control of how you respond... you don't always need to react with anger... (jus sayin') *looks around quickly*

Also... I am not saying I don't have an ego... I do -__-... but I am aware that it gets in the way and I make an effort to realize when my emotions are fuelled by my ego. When I realize it, I can work on it. So I guess the point of this blog post was to ask people to really think about what it is that really fuels their reactions, think about it... then respond.

"In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves."-Buddha

Well beautiful readers of this blog... stay smiling and cheers! Till next time, open yourselves up, find a little inner peace man you deserve it :D <3 

~YEE YEE!

Hearts&Sheit....and true happiness. 

Words of Wisdom

"Your thoughts become your words. 

Your words become your actions.

Your actions become your habits.

 Your habits become your character. 

Your character becomes your destiny."

"We are shaped by our thoughts; 

We become what we think.

When the mind is pure,

Joy follows like a shadow that never leaves."

"Always be mindful of the kindness 

and not the faults of others"

-Buddha

Rav's Randoms! :D

Random stuff that don’t matter… uh

Why not blog… I shall call this blog segment: RAV’S RANDOMS! Here we goo!!!

• The Amazing Spiderman was an amazing movie. The character development—awesome. Direction and script—fantismo! Acting—wicked. I absolutely loved it. Not to mention I absolutely fell in love with Andrew Garfield and his take on Peter Parker. Man of my dreams. Done. I have found him… and I will marry him (whether it is consensual or not… *creepy stare*
•  Ever wish you could just meet someone like that in person. Slightly geeky but supa cool. Awkwardly funny and charming! So cute… makes my knees weak. Peter Parker why aren’t you real… *emotional breakdown*
• I went through a phase like that before… feeling dejected when you realize the awesome world that film has created for you is not real -__-*tear*… Well I guess you know they did a damn good job when you feel like that (is it sad that it was after watching a lot of anime?)
•   Having confidence in what you do is always admirable. But where do people get this unshakable sense of confidence… to the point of delusion? (We’ve all seen those dudes on American Idol that think they sing amazing when reality of the situation proves otherwise…) Do these people not reflect on what they do? Boggles my mind.
•  I hate the idea of an essay, but once I get started on them I end up loving them. They put you in a zone… this odd brainstorm mode; well I guess it’s just critical thinking. We have an odd love hate relationship.
•  I am currently sitting beside my sister who is playing final fantasy XIII… she is so ridiculously engaged in the game… you should see her face (LOL) ---> O_O (with the occasional eye twitch and realization she hasn’t blinked in like 20 minutes)
•  Indian soap operas are the biggest waste of time. My mother absolutely loves them… I can’t take it! It’s the same story line copied and pasted again and again with different characters. Jesus why is it so hard to come up with something new? The only thing I’ve learned from soap operas is that people like watching other people day dream about love… perhaps it because they can relate. -__- sheesh.
•  Trying to learn how to play guitar is one of the best things I ever decided to attempt. I can’t imagine how I lived without music like this before. This is music but the connection you find with it is so different. When you listen to music on your phone, iPod etc. you hear it and you connect in a different way, but when you play it… I just can describe it (words will not do it justice!) but you feel liberated and open. It’s awesome! It’s amazing how much you don’t know you have in the world until you get it or feel it?… (Isn’t the line usually the other way?) But hey its okay, I tend to work backwards.
• It becomes an addiction! Just like any other art I guess. I am absolutely in love.
•  Although summer just started I am actually very excited to have school start O_O ! (NERD). No! Not a nerd… I just have a lot of exciting courses I’m taking okay? *tear*
•  I love people. All people, people in general. They’re great! So many personalities, genetic makeups and habits! But maybe I’m just saying that because I’m in a good mood. I easily recall several other times where I think people suck… Perhaps I must try to keep more neutral opinions and not be so extreme in everything (great I feel bipolar now…)
• What do you do when you miss someone? Umm… Rav ends up eating things they like. My sister finds this so weird, but it’s not?! (I need some reassurance here man). When I miss my sister I feel like eating popcorn and chips. For my brother I think of Coffee Crisp and for my mom I instantly think apple fritters and croissants. Just thinking about the foods makes me miss them <3 Sister Sehmbi thinks this makes sense since I love food so much… I end up attaching the people I love with the foods they love and it becomes a giant connection of love. What can I say… you know you love it.
•   I have recently been taking vitamin D pills and have realized I don’t crave sweets as much anymore. It’s so odd… I don’t feel like myself. So usually when you crave something consistently it’s your brain’s way of letting you know you lack some essential nutrients. Apparently whatever I was lacking is fulfilled with vitamin D… but… I miss you sweets : ( I guess this situation is bittersweet… but not so sweet for me… so simply bitter *runs away crying*
•  Uh I love life :) That sums it up. Heh…

Well that’s all beautiful people. Enjoy your summer! Talking about random things just fills me up with hearts and sheit what can I say.

~YEE YEE

:D

Weirdness?

“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others.”—Marianne Williamson

So something I’ve noticed recently…. I hear people call others “weird” a lot and talk about how they are repelled by these people because of this “weirdness”. And something I’ve picked up about myself is that I have never really found anyone weird. I mean it’s not like I’ve never used the word before, but I guess what I’m saying is I’ve never meant it. I’ve never found anyone odd. Of course you do have the occasional socially oblivious souls (poor things…) but they’re not weird… they’re just annoying.  And the thing is it’s not their fault, which makes me sad, because they end up growing older with negative social experiences and wonder why people don’t enjoy their company. Generally social behaviors are genetic (and then obviously nurtured by environment) but they are a product of their influences and they might be a tad socially awkward and people end up finding them “weird”. I have always differentiated between socially awkward and weirdness, aren’t they different?

I mean… the world weird it implies oddness. But all people are odd, I don’t get it. Every person you’ll meet will have some kind of “weird” thing about them and it’s just so cool! That’s what makes them different, because to them it’s not weird but to others it’s something unheard of. People are amazing. I once met this artist who was showing at her grad exhibition and I noticed on her hand she had a round circle of dead skin (sounds gross… it didn’t look that bad) It was around the area under the pinky on the outside of her hand. I asked her about it and she said she had a nervous habit of chewing the side of her hand… she used to smoke before to ease her nerves but now that she quit she started this little habit.  She stood there looking kind of embarrassed and said “Yeah I know that’s so weird right?”  I found it awesome… not weird, that was her little… stress reliever. Different…  Interesting! Not weird. But maybe that is what weird is, different? I feel like maybe habits can be weird but not people… or can they? Not sure if I have an answer to that but in my eyes… I have yet to find someone I call “weird”. But you see whenever I meet someone it’s like that “thing” that’s them… is them… (If that makes sense) I usually don’t find people weird it’s just who they are, another different personality in the many we have!

                For those socially oblivious souls out there, it’s okay… you’re awesome man (just try not to annoy people… READ BODY LANGUAGE please… try). I’ve stayed friends with/have friends that people might not consider the most socially normal (and I guess they’re not always people you want to leave on a one to one conversation with another friend you just introduced them to) but they still have their own… qualities. I mean I once had a friend that kind of looked like he avoided eye contact, it seemed like he would say whatever was on his mind… whether appropriate timing or not. But when you get past the social normalities (which we construct in the first place, they’re not even real) he was a really amazing person. Not to mention super talented, he had a thing for music. But here’s the thing (and something that annoys me) if you just met him upfront and didn’t try to get to know him or… let’s say give him a chance you wouldn’t realize he’s just like everyone else. I’ve noticed some people tend to categorize others (gets me angry! *breathing exercises*) but once they’re categorized it becomes easy to not consider them important. Well they’re “different” kind of “weird”… what does that even mean? It means they don’t belong in your category that’s what it means. When we do this we stop recognizing the human in everyone… by this I mean there is no general openness to the human being there is a restrictive superficial understanding and I despise it! I guess what I’m trying to reinforce here is a kind of Buddhist love for all human beings? I really feel like people need to open their minds and………. Hearts -____- (I said it okay… I said it… so cheesy oh my god. I know. But it’s true!)  

I was called weird throughout school! …  People still call me weird. I don’t think I’m weird at all. Some people have approached me with saying that it’s a good weird! A positive one (yay :3) I’ve had others who have just been mean. I have a tendency to make animated faces… this doesn’t always jive with some people. So I’ve gotten some remarks that have hurt a little… But I usually don’t care about that little percent of people because in my eyes… they just aren’t fun (logic… tis flawless).  But what I am saying is everyone is normal I guess… with qualities, where the doses of the qualities are different in each person, it leads to a different cocktail each time doesn’t it (I just like alcohol). But yeah I guess just try to stay open minded about people and try to get to know them. Everyone has something you can learn from… So be open like a jar :D… Jars with no cookies… they’re not so great you see and if their closed they can’t get any sweet cookies either. So open yours and fill it with different cookies… :D (LOL forgive my off-the-top-of-my-head-stupid example)

I think I’ll be able to sleep tonight :D (sad how that’s something exciting… I’ve kind of been an insomniac lately) I feel oddly at peace today… I think its ma music, positive attitude and the fact that I get to see my mom tomorrow! (LOL… yeah. I know I’m lame, what can I say she’s oodles of fun) <3

Well till next time beautiful people. Thank you for reading and open your jars :D ….(no sexual pun intended… for all you out there… that think things about things…that aren’t really things to think things about… *cough*) anyways stay smiling :)

~YE YEE!

Hearts&Sheit…… <3 <3 <3

Be an Optimist Prime!

Hhaha! so awesome. :D

Amazing.

Simply amazing. I would write down some of his ingenious quotes but it really is the whole speech...

Painful to think that he passed away from the relapse of the same cancer he spoke about. But amazing to see that no matter what, your intuition does guide you... his emphasis on the importance of living life before you die, interestingly enough he died at 56. Did he know he would go early? Maybe he did. What an inspiration.

Letting Go- A peace of yourself

I’m sitting here with my jones drink (friggen best drinks of life!) and I can’t help it… I just needed to blog…

“Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head”

Sometimes letting go is very hard. But if I have learned anything in my young and fragile (lol) years of life it is that no peace can ever be attained from grudges. Now I don’t think that grudges includes (let’s call them notes) you take about someone’s character though. Let’s say someone you knew hurt you really badly… (like tears from your heart and soul pain…like stepping on a piece of leggo five times in the same spot pain) which also indicated what kind of person they are. Now people’s reactions to these kinds of situations vary greatly. Some people hold grudges against the person for the rest of their life, others forgive and forget, and then there are some who forgive, let go but never forget.  It remains arguable however, if one can every fully forgive while not forget something. However, I think this is quite possible. You take note of characteristics this person has that have hurt you in the past, but you forgive their mistakes and let go of what happened… in my eyes, that is the best way to a peaceful existence.

When a person is hurt the most natural thing is anger, frustration and sadness. It seems, however, many people let the anger aspect take over their existence. I was scrolling around on the internet once and came across this amazing quote that said something along the lines of

 “It is so much harder to hate someone when you know why they did what they did.”

This quote just stuck to me like glue. If you can even understand in the slightest why a person might have done something, even if it’s something as petty as social pressures (which we all go through) you cannot hate them and you need to let go of your anger. It’s far too easy to sit in the corner and pout about how much you hate someone. So much harder is standing up straight and saying you love them regardless (and by love I don’t mean like… ohmagawd we be best frands now yeo. I mean love them as another human being kind of love. Also, I mean this as an internal process… don’t go telling them that you love them… you’re going to look really creepy). Okay so I mean moral of the story: ishh okay!  Everyone makes mistakes and holding grudges are not beneficial to anyone… especially your sense of inner peace. Learn to let go and move on.

On that note some more amazing words of wisdom… (I can read quotes like this all day)

“Peace is to be found only within, and unless one finds it there he will never find it at all. Peace lies not in the external world. It lies within one’s own soul” –Ralph W. Trine

“If you have inner peace, nobody can force you to be a slave to the outer reality.” –Sri Chinmoy

“Nothing is worth losing your inner peace. Take action as circumstance require, but never surrender your inner peace. Stop. Breathe deeply. Close your eyes and breathe deeply again. Then, and only then, take action—from a peaceful heart.”—Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Now inner peace… well that’s something that fills me up with hearts&sheit all the good stuff. Till next time friends…

~YEE YEE

Hearts&Sheit…&peace.

Motives and Inconsistencies

"True character in a faceless world" -Lotus Evora

Is it sad that I don’t have much faith in other human beings? Perhaps there is far too much to lead me to feel disappointed then revived and optimistic. Maybe it’s my recent mood, or maybe it’s the people I’ve been dealing with. But when do you actually know who a person really is, compared to who they are projecting themselves to be?  Are they simply saying what they know you want to hear? Or are they genuine? When your spidey senses kick off and say “woh… I just sensed some… BULLSHYAT” how accurate is that? Could it just be slight paranoia, or a deeper intuition? So many questions with little answers. Maybe in the bigger picture they don’t really matter… but they still pose an annoying situation. 

So then you guys might be thinking, well so what if they’re just saying what they know you want to hear, they can be trying to impress you, maybe gain approval? And yes that might be a reason but then why the heck would they be doing this? And what are the motivating factors that lead someone to do this? Insecurities, future plans, maybe a socializing technique? My point is... well... what's the point? In the end (if they are in fact altering their words for your approval) they are not being genuine to themselves... what's the point in that?

Does who they really are on the inside really matter in the end? Maybe not, maybe you can't know. But there is one clear indication of personality... if they are slightly altering their words to get a favourable reaction that's also an aspect of their personality (a natural aspect of socializing as well... but I'm talking.. specifically changing things in accordance to what you have displayed). Weather for good or bad... I guess it depends on the situation. They could be manipulative... or they could simply have an agreeable nature. Maybe in the end it doesn't matter, because what do you really gain from thinking that you've figured someone out? Nothing really, because truth is you probably haven't. What an utterly pointless cycle... -__- (sorry *cough* just wasted 5 seconds of your life). But I think the need to know someone's true nature is rooted in everyone. Its a way to survive as a social human being I guess...

On that note (surviving as social beings that is)… what is up with some people? So inconsistent in their behaviors so that sometimes it seems completely impossible to guess what’s going on in their noggin. Jez… why is it so hard to be consistent? Isn’t life so much simpler when you just say what’s bothering you? Or drop the social awkwardness or what you think you should do? I’ve been in some pretty odd situations with some people that can easily say “hey so {insert odd situation} was pretty weird right?” and laugh it off… when instead these people ignore and refuse to accept anything in the domain of “socially awkward” has happened (when you both clearly know… whaz good  -__-). Mayne people don’t realize this but they make their awkward situations even more awkward when they refuse to acknowledge something… for all the people out there who do this… GAH JUST ACCEPT IT and chillax!

Common awkward scenario:

Person A is acquainted with person B

Person B happens to step onto the same bus person A rides

Person A sits there awkwardly refusing to acknowledge the existence of person B

Person B feels awkward as a result then also refusing to acknowledge their unacknowledged existence

What we have: A CYCLE OF AWKWARDNESS throughout a 45 minute bus ride (complete with slight glances in each other’s direction and an damn odd angle to stare out the window… lol).

This poisonous cycle could have been avoided:

Person A is acquainted with person B

Person B happens to step onto the same bus person A rides

Person A waves a friendly hello, or flashes a warm smile to person B

Person B reciprocates this gesture

What we have: a NORMAL SOCIAL SITUATION throughout a 45 minute bus ride (complete with comfortable body gestures and relaxing positioning).

Moral of the story: Chill the fug out, and wave a friggen hello. Your life will not end, I promise.

Anyways just a funny little thing that seems to happen a lot with people, I personally find waving really diminishes the awkwardness (quite obviously…) but yes. Please next time you’re in an awkward situation have a sense of humour, laugh it off, don’t be so uptight and don’t take things so seriously.

And being chilled out, well that makes me feel the good ol’ hearts and sheit. Tis Rav signing off at 5:12am (I think I have a mild case of insomnia…) Cheers and keep smiling.

~YEE YEE

Hearts&Sheit…. &funny awkward situations… 

We Live a Formal Existence?

Ever feel like no matter how much you try to avoid an issue, the more it chases you down? Sometimes it seems like when you neglect something the world works to bring it towards you, saying “OKAY buddy, you need to work this out”.  That’s kind of what seems to have been happening with me recently. I guess the universe works in mysterious ways.

I have never been the kind of person to understand “signs”. It seems, with me, whenever all arrows point right, I go left. Whenever they point left, I go right… and whenever they’re like f*ck it you pick… I… well, jebus I can’t decide. I am utterly ungraceful in my physical existence… but am even worse in my emotional and metal existence. The funny thing is I am a psychology major. Inner motives, emotional states, and mental disorders continue to amaze me and I enjoy observing others. But when it comes to me… I think I might be a tad bit of a mess, perhaps choosing to focus on how others behave because I can’t even understand myself (oh no… she’s hit rock bottom. You grab the booze I’ll get the cakes and pastries).

So formalities, what are they anyways?  They’re important (I believe…) but only if they are genuinely felt. They are a way to communicate your authentic gratitude and feelings about something. But perhaps when they are used too often, they become mere habit without the honest feelings needed for their base. When you take away the base of what formalities should be what do they become? They become empty actions. The empty action is then meaningless, utterly useless and insignificant. And the truth is ladies and gents, people can see right through it. That’s right! They may not say it, but people can sense a genuine feeling, or rather, lack of it. I generally find myself retreating after meeting someone that comes of a little… uhh… dare I say it? Fake. So why use such empty habits? Perhaps formalities can serve as armour. Their sole purpose, then, becomes to shield others from seeing who you really are (in a way). Politeness is generally accepted by everyone, you can never offend someone, you can’t hurt them and you definitely can’t get close to them. You lead a relationship on the surface. So essentially what I am saying is that politeness can be a sort of defense mechanism used by the fearful.

Truth is I use it all the time (which I have recently noticed). It seems like my existence becomes far too oriented towards the perceptions of others. Sometimes you just need to turn around and say f*ck it. I am not one to give myself away completely to someone, there always is a sense of formality, which I like and I don’t think I really want to change. But when the formalities loose their meaning, they end up creating copied and pasted characters essentially just leading a role play game, which is something I don’t want. You become comfortable in this “role” and without knowing it creates boundaries by itself. Being constricted! That’s one thing I hate, then why the heck do it to myself?! (aw sheit… girls be getting all personal). Well less personal and more… realistic. Little inner therapy session for Rav, if you will. Not that it is of interest to anyone else, but perhaps you have felt this way too? In that case you must say FUG IT friend! And you must spread your wings like peanut butter and jelly (NO! NEUTELLA O_O) and fly freely! *cough* anyways… I have an odd relationship with this bloggity of mine. Whenever anything is occupying my mind I can blog and it’s almost like closure on the topic. It becomes an opened and closed case, which is nice to have. A friend once told me that writing is cheap therapy… I would have to say, I can’t agree more.  

And that friends… well that fills me up with hearts&sheit.

~YEE YEE

Hearts&Sheit… <3 

Nirvana remodelled :]

Such a beautiful cover by Yuna Zarai, I just had to share it :}
*tear* She's such a beauty. <3

Communication and Telepathy

Unfortunately it won't display the artist but I got this piece from : http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=telepathy#/d2peewc

So I don’t know about you guys, but when I think about the future of humans I see superrior beings that are super tall, super intelligent, levitate and communicate telepathically… (I am not crazy). Maybe it was all the Silvia Brown books, or maybe it’s an overactive imagination but… maybe this can be our future. O_o With my music pumped… and a half drowsy mind… lets doeit!

RAVS BOGUS THEORIES time… again. (I am so… so very sorry)

So recently I have realized the inaccuracy of human communication (well I realized it before… but now I would like to say something about it O__o). Communication is so very limited (yeah thanks for that Rav, it’s only been stated a few hundred times). But with that I have also realized the closest thing we have to human telepathy is empathy. The subjective mind can only express itself verbally to a limit. But to understand someone’s subjective state is a form of unspoken communication. But of course someone can just say your using your own mind to come up with a reason for why someone is feeling the way that they are and technically you might not even be accurately reading their emotions. This is very true, but I want to emphasize a situation where you know someone very well and understand them. Without much difficulty you know how they feel because of something and can predict it correctly. Ever meet that person that just knows when you’re down… and you have done everything in your power to project an I-am-having-such-an-amazing-day mood. “How the hell did they know?!”… I think for this, people need to have a unique connection with the person and similar personalities/internal states of mind. Maybe it doesn’t happen often because we cannot find someone similar to ourselves… but when you do… its damn creepy. I guess some people are better at reading others then we think. It truly is an art form, but then there are some that could not care less about the internal state of another but we shall not pay attention to those people for now… that’s right, you have no friends and no one likes you… (That was not bitterness… no, not at all).

How does a person become good at this? Empathy, like so much more of the human personality is genetic (of course psychologists now know that there is an equal blend between nature and nurture, both are equally important… that means they’ve stopped debating… finally. *cough* losers). But uh where was I… yes, so there are genes associated with empathy and the environment will either nourish it or cause it to dissipate. Quite obviously a family that values the feelings of others, verbalizes these concerns, and holds strong stability in their relationships, would produce a pretty empathetic child. And then there are social interacts and future influences.

Now what I want to look at though is the genetic basis of empathy. Now if we want to get all evolutionary and sheit, then I could say… maybe, through natural selection, we will eventually select for this gene and end up with… extremely empathetic human begins… which will be the equivalent to telepathic beings… O_O (ohmagawd). But what can be the adaptive advantages? Why would natural selection further this gene in future generations? Well maybe, since it is another form of communication (kind of) and humans are constantly trying to understand other humans (communication is an essential part of our survival) maybe empathy will be highly selected for. Also… our bodies are constantly trying to conserve energy, perhaps we will slowly filter out… verbal communication and turn to some sort of empathy/telepathic communication… (this sounds like jellysheit… I realize that. No I am not high… okay fine just a little… ON LIFE! : D *cough* okay uhh… yes anyways.) But yes… one more thing, perhaps our understanding of another’s emotions will also not be communicated through words (mentally that is). Maybe we could learn through abstractions of thought O__o… as in pure emotion? Perhaps like picking up vibes from someone… but not really… but in an empathetic kind of way… (if that makes any sense…). Anyways… just a fun little idea that I wanted to get out there. Eh eh call it what you want! (That might or might not be referring to Foster the People.)

Oh hai look what I found. It… It just fell down… from cyber space. Well your welcome fellow jellybean. Cheers. Keep smiling. :] (I don't know why, but I absolutely love their music video...)

~YEE YEE!

Hearts&Sheit <3 … &Telepathy! 

Romantic Love vs. Platonic Love?

This sculpture is called "Amour et Psyche" by Antonio Canova. He is by far one of my favourite sculptors. He was amazing. If you know Greek mythology you might know the story behind this sculpture of Psyche and Eros. If you know the story, grab a cookie, you've earned one.

A new way of thinking on my part: Romantic love is not a bad thing. To me it always seemed like an underdeveloped form of love felt by teenagers with raging hormones and an obsessive mind. Romantic love, I thought, would always lead to something temporary. But recently my thoughts on this have changed. The Greeks used to believe in many different kinds of love and especially that romantic love is just as real or true as platonic love. Their thoughts on romantic love are actually quite beautiful. They thought that romantic love is an experience that pushes one to try to become a better person for another (something that people are usually not motivated to do). The experience causes you to feel strong and empowered while simultaneously expose your vulnerability. As much of a paradox as it may seem, to them, it was a divine concept that held only positivity.

 Just because something might be temporary does not mean it is not important or should not be considered. Temporary always seemed like a negative thing to me. But it is not necessarily something bad. Life is temporary, furniture is temporary even our emotions are. The Japanese would make much of their furniture out of wood to symbolize the impermanence of life (damn Japanese adding artsyness in everything…). But the temporary nature of something should not take away from the legitimacy or realness of it. After an interesting discussion with my sister I came to this realization. To tell you the truth… whenever someone I would talk to spoke so strongly about “love” and how close they feel to someone, my brain rolled its eyes… (lol). I always figured that this sort of love is just…. Mm… well these people clearly don’t know what they’re talking about because they may feel this temporary love now but they will eventually move on. But now I think I realize that even if you do move on, the understanding of such an abstract idea is… enlightening. I am the type of person that always needs a conclusion to something. So abstract emotions, something temporary and inconclusive… not so much my thing. But I understand now (thank you Greeks… and sister…) that sometimes the very abstract and temporary notion of something can be the most meaningful and beautiful.

Upon further analysis (with sister Sehmbi of course) we came to the conclusion that people go wrong when they try to materialize their love. A feeling so strong and so abstract, we try to fit it into a person. We expect perfection and maybe people who are in this form of love are slightly idealistic. So basically what I am struggling to say is this: we try to materialize such a vast and abstract thing into a person, whether they are good for us or not, our need to materialize what we are feeling sometimes might outweigh the reality of a situation. But it varies… some people end up finding something very meaningful… while others end up with a heart made out of super glue and millions of missing pieces.  Our need to “tell” the person, or be with them is simply the want we have to try to explore and understand the feeling.

Some people end up a mess… and for others (who have found someone with the same feelings/ideals/concepts/emotionality) it works out. But the idea I’m looking at here is this: that one does not always need to express this feeling, and sometimes life seems to work out best when they don’t. When projecting this ideal on someone else (in an attempt to materialize it) I think we might only find disappointment (I am not saying you shouldn’t tell someone the way you feel, but I am simply saying that its always better to have an understanding of the other person and think about things realistically). Imagine romantic love with someone you know is not good for you. Your future holds heart breaks and maybe even never seeing this person again. So I guess my opinion on this matter is very… um individualistic. It’s an experience for the self that doesn’t always require reciprocation from the other person (but of course for those who get it, it’s always a good thing—if it works out that is). Sometimes the best way to channel something so abstract might just be in an abstract way. Think art, music, photography, or dance. Jez… it’s no wonder people sing so much on this topic, it’s a pretty damn intense one (Adele… I feel ya bro, I feel ya… not really…but a part of me yes). Anyways main point here: an understanding of a feeling that can be so divine cannot be fulfilled in a person… (sometimes it can :3). So… this energy can be taken out abstractly, just in the way that it came :]

Anyways a beautiful concept that I have open my mind to. Speaking of love… there is a chocolate chip cookie lying on my desk right now and if you’ll excuse me I need to show it some lovin’ if you know what I mean. Till next time fellow lovers. Cheers!

~YEE YEE!

Hearts&Sheit! <3

Grab an Eff it attitude.

I came to a sudden realization today… As odd as it sounds it was after my mom got into a vicious argument with some pompous arrogant asshole that was speeding down (what is clearly) a residential area. This is not the first time I have experienced something like this… but this is definitely the last time it will hurt me (like situations like this usually do). She was backing out of our driveway and beeped at the freak to indicate that he needs to slow down. He got really angry and stopped his car right there and immediately started screaming stuff out of his window. My mom got out of the car and reciprocated his kind gesture (that was of course… sarcasm), so as a response I walked out and stood beside her trying to … break them up I guess? My theory has always been that if someone is mad, calm them down… no need to scream, which is what I tried to do. So I asked the man to quiet down and leave while telling my mom to go back into the car. They were both yelling at each other and I just wanted them to stop so everyone can get back to their day. (In addition I must add… my mother is not one to be messed with. That woman will fug yo shit up so damn good you will regret ever messing around with her… a story for another time friends.) So she really didn’t need anyone to “break” anything up… but I couldn’t just sit there. After wards in the car my sister and mom told me I was being too polite to a man who refused to acknowledge that he had done something wrong. When I actually thought about it… the situation really didn’t need breaking up… he deserved it. I was way too polite… I should have bashed the assholes windows in. Just to give you guys a taste of what he said to me…(forgive me...)

“Is your dad home? Tell him to come out so I can kick his ass”

“You f*cking b*ch, shut the f*ck up”

“look, oh look that b*ch is coming back… let’s see what she has to say” (he was referring to my mother)

                I figured that if you respond with calmness people calm down and you can talk things out. But the truth is… the person inside will stay the same (and I think that’s the saddest part). He might be able to calm down and listen on the spot for that moment (I am not NOT saying that what this dude did… he didn’t.) but then… but he’s probably going to go home and still continue being the person he is. Someone who is unrestrained, narcissistic, unable to take on someone else’s perspective, and isn’t concerned about other people’s emotions. While I am standing there thinking about how he must be feeling… trying to break up the argument in a peaceful way. Why should I care about granting respect to a person who is wrong and refuses to be respectful? In the end what seems to upset me the most is that there are many people like this. They have bigger mouths then brains… sadly. He was in the wrong yet he did the most screaming. The problem is I always come out with this assumption that people are as…. sensitive as I am (yeah I said it. I am sensitive, I admit it. And you know what it’s not a bad thing. It makes people more human, self-aware and empathetic.) The truth is people are not as sensitive; most don’t give a shit about… anything actually. And this is what I have realized today (not from this single experience... but a collection of them and how I react to them).

I have always found ways to calm myself down when I get angry and have used them so much that they have become a part of who I am and how I react. And you know what… yeah I was way too polite. This was a man who couldn’t respect anyone and clearly had no self-restraint or concern for others. Why the hell should I give a damn? Thinking about it now… even writing about it gets me so angry. I hate conflict (pretty sure everyone does) but it really does something to me from the inside. It definitely has to do with anxiety. So I try my best to end it. And I’ve made a habit of it, trying to end it as soon as it arises that is. But in this situation… man I should have bust out a crow bar and bashed the shit out of his car. Honestly.

But I must say, in situations where my family is concerned I get much more emotional. I can handle someone screaming at me and dude… ill pull yo hair out no problem (watch yoo back son…aw sheit). But if someone says something about my family or friends, anyone I love I get especially emotional (cheese… so much cheese). But what I have realized is this “problem of politeness”. It’s a good habit, but in the right situations… and to those who deserve it. What I learned today is… sometimes you have to say f*ck it. The truth is… sometimes people don’t deserve the respect you’re giving them. Like the fellow I had the misfortune of bumping into today and you have to know when and who deserves it. So yes self-restraint is a very good thing… but sometimes people need to learn that they can’t go around screaming at whoever they want with no consequences.

Basically in the end when we said “stay right there and let me call the cops, I have your license plate down” (since he refused to move anyways, might as well command him to stay there… little bit of reverse psychology there for ya. Oh and we didn’t actually have his license plate number down… we were bluffing lol). The next minute we saw the dude driving away like he was in the movie fast and furious… pathetic.

So hearts&sheit are really nice. Love is great and peace is awesome. But I think I’ve learned today that there are people in the world who will continue to make my forehead turn a terrible red colour (due to all the face-palming I must do of course). And as much as I want to think that the world is full of amazing people, encounters like this just further lessen my hope in humanity. People are not as sensitive as I think they are. They are not as emotional and they are not as concerned for others as I like to think they are. People tell lies, they backstab, they intentionally make you feel discluded and worthless. But want me to tell you my therapy when I feel like all hope in humanity is lost? ART. That really is my main source of therapy. If the world you’re in sucks worse than furry monkey balls, create your own! And when I am ready to mesh back with humans… let’s do it. Another thing… I remind myself of all the positive people that surround me… all I really have to do is think about family and some close friends and that usually lightens the mood. Ultimately I have realized… f*ck it. Don’t think too much about what people might think in a situation… they don’t do much of it anyway. And on that note… I have decided to continue life with this eff it attitude and that includes not holding myself back in things! 

So I was scrolling down our beloved facebook when I read something someone posted. It’s your usual “you live only once, so enjoy every minute” speech thing… but as cliché as it is, it is so true. Here’s what she wrote:

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, and no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back"

I sat there and absorbed like a sponge. For most people living life like this is relatively easy. To a certain degree I am kind of envious of people who have those crazy stories to tell about how they got a tattoo on their ass when they were way to drunk at their best friend’s birthday (oh yeah… that tattoo…..). Yeah it’s dumb but I spend more of my life thinking about my future situations then I spend actually living it. “I shouldn’t do that yet; I should use my time for something else first.” “If I mess up now, my future will be done.” TOO many concerns! I just end up stressing myself out. CALM DOWN RAV! And not everything always has to have a purpose. Some things can just…. Be. I guess that’s the hardest concept I have trouble grasping. Hopefully with my new F*ck it attitude… I’ll be able to. F*CK IT!!! *takes off clothes and runs down the hallway nude.* (and as long as Canadian laws don’t restrict me)

I always I get people telling me that they see me as a free spirit. Maybe I am a free spirit in a different way. In terms of dancing in public… being spontaneous, doing what I want in a situation… frig yeah! I’m a free spirit! But when it comes down to ultimate results of something… like future goals, or future situations… I am struck with anxiety and running in circles like a drunken mess of a woman (and I am talking bra straps hanging out… heel missing, mystery stains on the shirt and hair so messed up you’d thing she was wrestling a blender).

From now on … I am going to stop limiting myself and causing myself unnecessary anxiety… I think I am just going to go for things, think later… (or not at all, preferably).

 And so a lot of realizations in this long post (forgive me friends…) but yeah. EFF IT live life! Love life! And put people in their place when need be! And that well… It fills me up with hearts&sheit… all the good stuff. And although a lot a people in the world might not be that great. F*ck it, I have some pretty awesome people that surround me, and I am lucky enough to have them. So YEE

~YEE YEE!

Hearts&SHEIT <3