Ego, the Self, and Motivations

Its ridiculous how much clouds us from achieving true happiness. The worst thing is it's usually in ourselves and we fail to realize it... or maybe that can be a good thing. The fact that our happiness resides within ourselves can actually be good... perhaps that leaves room for improvement.

EGO
Ahhh where to begin on ego... So many people are obstructed by their egos and they don't even know it. They are easily tempered and fail to realize its source *shakes head in disappointment* I've heard some people say things like "ego is a good thing!" and I'm afraid I will have to disagree with this not-very-well-thought-out-opinion... What exactly is ego? A lot of people tend to confuse it with pride and they are NOT the same thing. Ego seems to be more internal while pride is external. Ego is attached to the self while pride is attached to something else. BUT this is not to say that the two are not linked... they can be. Ego seems to hold a sense of worth and self importance and is there from when you are a child and you learn to differentiate yourself from others (in my opinion). On the other hand I think pride can be build up... it is external and can be attached to things that have grown and can sometimes connect to this sense of self (with the ego). For example, people may be prideful of their talents and skills... like a dude who is amazing at mental math (I don't know why that popped up in my head) might be very prideful of this. Or a woman who can play guitar amazing. These talents or skills are external from the person but can attach to their ego or sense of self.

Ego tends to become a problem when it is not recognized. Usually when someone feels anger... there is a deeper root to a hurt ego. How could they do that to YOU? They didn't think about how YOU were feeling. And I know what your thinking right now probably something like "well Rav... you can't go about through life thinking your nothing and it's kinda hard not to get angry when people are so damn... STUPID sometimes" and to you my slightly hostile friend I say, yes that is true and it is hard to "get rid" of your ego. But in certain circumstances your ego really blocks you from feeling and realizing the important things. In such cases people need to do some introspection to figure out their true motives, but they never do and end up a giant emotional mess. Ever meet those people who know that they're wrong in an argument... they know they have no case (lol) but they continue to argue for the sake of arguing... well they only continue because their ego is on the line. When you get into an argument and you know your wrong but you refuse to say sorry... your not ready to drop your ego for someone you care about. Is a stupid ego really worth more than someone important to you? Fug no its not. And people tend to forget this over their egos. This ego that is so strongly connected to the self is important to people, and sometimes becomes more important than those around you... and in my opinion it really shouldn't.

Little story for you guys... (story time with Rav :D)
My brother an I never used to get along. EVER. It was war between us growing up. I always wanted a good relationship but it never worked, we were always arguing. Until one day I overheard my mom talking to a friend on the phone saying something like "when what two people are doing isn't working, its up to you to take the initiative to change the situation or nothing will ever change" and these words really sank in. So simple... so true. When I really thought about it I realized the only thing stopping me from making an active change in the situation was my ego. Why should I be nice first when he clearly doesn't care? Well if two people think with their egos and not their feelings... no one will ever make the first move. In life we always have situations like this... a mass mess of ego cycles that people just aren't ready to break. Oh suck it up will you? I really get sick of people sometimes.  I get frustrated that people care more about their egos then maintaining relationships... maybe its a matter of maturity. It really annoys me. (sorry little rant there)

ANYWAYS... back to the story. So I decided to make the first move. I started off by complimenting him every now and then and when he made little comments towards me I just ignored them rather then snapping back like I would usually do. If I had something negative to say... well I just wouldn't say it and when he did frustrate me I talked more about how it made me feel rather than accusing him of something. (interesting fact I've learned in life: Did you know the most offensive words to people are "you always" and "you never"... pay attention, people hate it. It is because you are assuming their actions. In doing so you are indirectly making a statement about who they are and implying you know them better. In order not to be offensive, point towards how you feel rather than things they have done). Eventually my brother began reciprocating my behaviour and slowly things just worked out. Today we're frikken buddies and head splitting laugh attacks fuelled by midnight trips to the grocery store mark our adventurous history together XD <3.

Moral of the story: Ego just gets in the way, let it go... you'll feel more peaceful I assure you.

This process of letting go of your ego is also what great people like Gandhi and Siddhartha Gautama talked about and tried to spread. How are you supposed to love other human beings equally when all of your energies are centred towards yourself? Let go people... you might win an argument this time and feed your ego but you actually didn't gain anything. Maybe you lost something in the process actually... maybe you lost someone's respect for you? The point I am making is... well, it won't get you anywhere except stuck in your own head.

Essential side note: for those who have poked fun at me for being "peaceful" and not reciprocating some retards (lol) instigation to "fight" or "argue" it's not because I don't get angry... and its not because I am scared. It's a matter of self control and patience. Someday you will realize this young grasshopper *pats head*. Its easy to lash out on people, but it always takes more thought to control your actions. Take control of how you respond... you don't always need to react with anger... (jus sayin') *looks around quickly*

Also... I am not saying I don't have an ego... I do -__-... but I am aware that it gets in the way and I make an effort to realize when my emotions are fuelled by my ego. When I realize it, I can work on it. So I guess the point of this blog post was to ask people to really think about what it is that really fuels their reactions, think about it... then respond.

"In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves."-Buddha

Well beautiful readers of this blog... stay smiling and cheers! Till next time, open yourselves up, find a little inner peace man you deserve it :D <3 

~YEE YEE!

Hearts&Sheit....and true happiness. 

Success

So it seems I’m having some trouble sleeping. Its 4 a.m. and I just can’t turn off my brain. So Rav figured 

hey! Why not just bloggity blog blog since it’s… been a while </3  

Lately what seems to have been on my mind is this thing we “success”. The whole idea of success is supposed to revolve around accomplishment your ultimate goal… which for many is usually career stability. And what’s behind that goal? Most likely money. And behind that, hidden amongst all the clutter of incompetencies and self-esteem is this common human desire—to be happy. Seems like people shuffle around and get to the “money” stage and don’t seem to progress past it, or rather, even feel any different after it. People sit there dreaming about what a comfortable life they’ll have after their goals have been achieved, but what happens after?  Is it just me, or do people never really know what they want? They go about achieving all their goals and still end up feeling unsatisfied and empty. But it’s not necessarily accomplishment of your goals that will bring you happiness, contrary to what a lot of people think. For some it might be the pursuit towards their goals, for others, maybe happiness for someone they love. But my main point here is people get lost in the clutter of the word “success” and forget its ultimate meaning. It’s the rout you take for happiness not for the automatic creation of it. Anticipation of automatic happiness after an empty goal is achieved might not lead to happiness at all.  Of course this is a generalized idea I stand by this for a certain set of situations… Say for example a man sets a long-term goal of becoming a CEO of a company. Five years later he gets the job position he had been waiting for. He sits there feeling the arm rests of his leather chair and looking at the unique design of his new sheik cabin. He might feel a bit of relief after he gets the position, but after about a year, how does he feel now? Probably the same way he did 6 years ago. And when I mean the same way 6 years ago I am not implying he didn’t change at all… I am just highlighting his emotional state; he’ll feel the same internally. And what now, probably another long term goal to set and achieve. Mmm Sounds like a cycle.  

Maybe goals are essential to help people get through life though. They add meaning to what can seem like (sometimes) a pointless existence. I am not saying they are bad… but for people who seem to think that their life will become amazingly different and that they will have found happiness for the rest of their lives upon completion of a goal… in my opinion, are a little too idealistic. And I know what you’re probably thinking… “Rav! Who thinks like that man? Sounds like what a child would say.” Well dearest friend of mine to you I say… that you would be surprised how many people have this kind of thinking (once you break down their long term goals and ideas). You see I have found, many people hold this secret belief of a changed world once they achieve a goal… but they lather it up all nice with jewels and decorations so you don’t notice… *squintey eyes* AW SHEIT ISA CONSPIRACY… okay no. But I have met quite the bunch that thinks this and I always… just get so confuzled. *tear*

Anyways, this seems like a very generalized and slightly one-sided post… let’s leave this out for those that view success in this way (you all know who you are *squints*). I am not saying success or goals will never lead to happiness, I think what I’m just trying to say here is there might always be more to what seems like a simple motive. I think maybe people just shouldn’t get caught up in the clutter of wanting to complete something for success; they should want to complete it for happiness. Success and happiness are not synonymous, we can think of success as the road and happiness, the destination. When you want something you should always ask yourself why. If the end goal is happiness try it out… see how it goes.

Well that… it just fill me up with… hearts and sheit

~YE YEE!! <3 

Happiness...