Ego, the Self, and Motivations

Its ridiculous how much clouds us from achieving true happiness. The worst thing is it's usually in ourselves and we fail to realize it... or maybe that can be a good thing. The fact that our happiness resides within ourselves can actually be good... perhaps that leaves room for improvement.

EGO
Ahhh where to begin on ego... So many people are obstructed by their egos and they don't even know it. They are easily tempered and fail to realize its source *shakes head in disappointment* I've heard some people say things like "ego is a good thing!" and I'm afraid I will have to disagree with this not-very-well-thought-out-opinion... What exactly is ego? A lot of people tend to confuse it with pride and they are NOT the same thing. Ego seems to be more internal while pride is external. Ego is attached to the self while pride is attached to something else. BUT this is not to say that the two are not linked... they can be. Ego seems to hold a sense of worth and self importance and is there from when you are a child and you learn to differentiate yourself from others (in my opinion). On the other hand I think pride can be build up... it is external and can be attached to things that have grown and can sometimes connect to this sense of self (with the ego). For example, people may be prideful of their talents and skills... like a dude who is amazing at mental math (I don't know why that popped up in my head) might be very prideful of this. Or a woman who can play guitar amazing. These talents or skills are external from the person but can attach to their ego or sense of self.

Ego tends to become a problem when it is not recognized. Usually when someone feels anger... there is a deeper root to a hurt ego. How could they do that to YOU? They didn't think about how YOU were feeling. And I know what your thinking right now probably something like "well Rav... you can't go about through life thinking your nothing and it's kinda hard not to get angry when people are so damn... STUPID sometimes" and to you my slightly hostile friend I say, yes that is true and it is hard to "get rid" of your ego. But in certain circumstances your ego really blocks you from feeling and realizing the important things. In such cases people need to do some introspection to figure out their true motives, but they never do and end up a giant emotional mess. Ever meet those people who know that they're wrong in an argument... they know they have no case (lol) but they continue to argue for the sake of arguing... well they only continue because their ego is on the line. When you get into an argument and you know your wrong but you refuse to say sorry... your not ready to drop your ego for someone you care about. Is a stupid ego really worth more than someone important to you? Fug no its not. And people tend to forget this over their egos. This ego that is so strongly connected to the self is important to people, and sometimes becomes more important than those around you... and in my opinion it really shouldn't.

Little story for you guys... (story time with Rav :D)
My brother an I never used to get along. EVER. It was war between us growing up. I always wanted a good relationship but it never worked, we were always arguing. Until one day I overheard my mom talking to a friend on the phone saying something like "when what two people are doing isn't working, its up to you to take the initiative to change the situation or nothing will ever change" and these words really sank in. So simple... so true. When I really thought about it I realized the only thing stopping me from making an active change in the situation was my ego. Why should I be nice first when he clearly doesn't care? Well if two people think with their egos and not their feelings... no one will ever make the first move. In life we always have situations like this... a mass mess of ego cycles that people just aren't ready to break. Oh suck it up will you? I really get sick of people sometimes.  I get frustrated that people care more about their egos then maintaining relationships... maybe its a matter of maturity. It really annoys me. (sorry little rant there)

ANYWAYS... back to the story. So I decided to make the first move. I started off by complimenting him every now and then and when he made little comments towards me I just ignored them rather then snapping back like I would usually do. If I had something negative to say... well I just wouldn't say it and when he did frustrate me I talked more about how it made me feel rather than accusing him of something. (interesting fact I've learned in life: Did you know the most offensive words to people are "you always" and "you never"... pay attention, people hate it. It is because you are assuming their actions. In doing so you are indirectly making a statement about who they are and implying you know them better. In order not to be offensive, point towards how you feel rather than things they have done). Eventually my brother began reciprocating my behaviour and slowly things just worked out. Today we're frikken buddies and head splitting laugh attacks fuelled by midnight trips to the grocery store mark our adventurous history together XD <3.

Moral of the story: Ego just gets in the way, let it go... you'll feel more peaceful I assure you.

This process of letting go of your ego is also what great people like Gandhi and Siddhartha Gautama talked about and tried to spread. How are you supposed to love other human beings equally when all of your energies are centred towards yourself? Let go people... you might win an argument this time and feed your ego but you actually didn't gain anything. Maybe you lost something in the process actually... maybe you lost someone's respect for you? The point I am making is... well, it won't get you anywhere except stuck in your own head.

Essential side note: for those who have poked fun at me for being "peaceful" and not reciprocating some retards (lol) instigation to "fight" or "argue" it's not because I don't get angry... and its not because I am scared. It's a matter of self control and patience. Someday you will realize this young grasshopper *pats head*. Its easy to lash out on people, but it always takes more thought to control your actions. Take control of how you respond... you don't always need to react with anger... (jus sayin') *looks around quickly*

Also... I am not saying I don't have an ego... I do -__-... but I am aware that it gets in the way and I make an effort to realize when my emotions are fuelled by my ego. When I realize it, I can work on it. So I guess the point of this blog post was to ask people to really think about what it is that really fuels their reactions, think about it... then respond.

"In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves."-Buddha

Well beautiful readers of this blog... stay smiling and cheers! Till next time, open yourselves up, find a little inner peace man you deserve it :D <3 

~YEE YEE!

Hearts&Sheit....and true happiness. 

Words of Wisdom

"Your thoughts become your words. 

Your words become your actions.

Your actions become your habits.

 Your habits become your character. 

Your character becomes your destiny."

"We are shaped by our thoughts; 

We become what we think.

When the mind is pure,

Joy follows like a shadow that never leaves."

"Always be mindful of the kindness 

and not the faults of others"

-Buddha

Rav's Randoms! :D

Random stuff that don’t matter… uh

Why not blog… I shall call this blog segment: RAV’S RANDOMS! Here we goo!!!

• The Amazing Spiderman was an amazing movie. The character development—awesome. Direction and script—fantismo! Acting—wicked. I absolutely loved it. Not to mention I absolutely fell in love with Andrew Garfield and his take on Peter Parker. Man of my dreams. Done. I have found him… and I will marry him (whether it is consensual or not… *creepy stare*
•  Ever wish you could just meet someone like that in person. Slightly geeky but supa cool. Awkwardly funny and charming! So cute… makes my knees weak. Peter Parker why aren’t you real… *emotional breakdown*
• I went through a phase like that before… feeling dejected when you realize the awesome world that film has created for you is not real -__-*tear*… Well I guess you know they did a damn good job when you feel like that (is it sad that it was after watching a lot of anime?)
•   Having confidence in what you do is always admirable. But where do people get this unshakable sense of confidence… to the point of delusion? (We’ve all seen those dudes on American Idol that think they sing amazing when reality of the situation proves otherwise…) Do these people not reflect on what they do? Boggles my mind.
•  I hate the idea of an essay, but once I get started on them I end up loving them. They put you in a zone… this odd brainstorm mode; well I guess it’s just critical thinking. We have an odd love hate relationship.
•  I am currently sitting beside my sister who is playing final fantasy XIII… she is so ridiculously engaged in the game… you should see her face (LOL) ---> O_O (with the occasional eye twitch and realization she hasn’t blinked in like 20 minutes)
•  Indian soap operas are the biggest waste of time. My mother absolutely loves them… I can’t take it! It’s the same story line copied and pasted again and again with different characters. Jesus why is it so hard to come up with something new? The only thing I’ve learned from soap operas is that people like watching other people day dream about love… perhaps it because they can relate. -__- sheesh.
•  Trying to learn how to play guitar is one of the best things I ever decided to attempt. I can’t imagine how I lived without music like this before. This is music but the connection you find with it is so different. When you listen to music on your phone, iPod etc. you hear it and you connect in a different way, but when you play it… I just can describe it (words will not do it justice!) but you feel liberated and open. It’s awesome! It’s amazing how much you don’t know you have in the world until you get it or feel it?… (Isn’t the line usually the other way?) But hey its okay, I tend to work backwards.
• It becomes an addiction! Just like any other art I guess. I am absolutely in love.
•  Although summer just started I am actually very excited to have school start O_O ! (NERD). No! Not a nerd… I just have a lot of exciting courses I’m taking okay? *tear*
•  I love people. All people, people in general. They’re great! So many personalities, genetic makeups and habits! But maybe I’m just saying that because I’m in a good mood. I easily recall several other times where I think people suck… Perhaps I must try to keep more neutral opinions and not be so extreme in everything (great I feel bipolar now…)
• What do you do when you miss someone? Umm… Rav ends up eating things they like. My sister finds this so weird, but it’s not?! (I need some reassurance here man). When I miss my sister I feel like eating popcorn and chips. For my brother I think of Coffee Crisp and for my mom I instantly think apple fritters and croissants. Just thinking about the foods makes me miss them <3 Sister Sehmbi thinks this makes sense since I love food so much… I end up attaching the people I love with the foods they love and it becomes a giant connection of love. What can I say… you know you love it.
•   I have recently been taking vitamin D pills and have realized I don’t crave sweets as much anymore. It’s so odd… I don’t feel like myself. So usually when you crave something consistently it’s your brain’s way of letting you know you lack some essential nutrients. Apparently whatever I was lacking is fulfilled with vitamin D… but… I miss you sweets : ( I guess this situation is bittersweet… but not so sweet for me… so simply bitter *runs away crying*
•  Uh I love life :) That sums it up. Heh…

Well that’s all beautiful people. Enjoy your summer! Talking about random things just fills me up with hearts and sheit what can I say.

~YEE YEE

:D

Life is Short

Was cruising around doing some research on creativity and stumbled on this... just had to share it

Found it on: http://shop.holstee.com/products/holstee-manifesto-poster#.UA3GNrR8CSo

It is so beautifully said. Simple and meaningful... :)

Weirdness?

“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others.”—Marianne Williamson

So something I’ve noticed recently…. I hear people call others “weird” a lot and talk about how they are repelled by these people because of this “weirdness”. And something I’ve picked up about myself is that I have never really found anyone weird. I mean it’s not like I’ve never used the word before, but I guess what I’m saying is I’ve never meant it. I’ve never found anyone odd. Of course you do have the occasional socially oblivious souls (poor things…) but they’re not weird… they’re just annoying.  And the thing is it’s not their fault, which makes me sad, because they end up growing older with negative social experiences and wonder why people don’t enjoy their company. Generally social behaviors are genetic (and then obviously nurtured by environment) but they are a product of their influences and they might be a tad socially awkward and people end up finding them “weird”. I have always differentiated between socially awkward and weirdness, aren’t they different?

I mean… the world weird it implies oddness. But all people are odd, I don’t get it. Every person you’ll meet will have some kind of “weird” thing about them and it’s just so cool! That’s what makes them different, because to them it’s not weird but to others it’s something unheard of. People are amazing. I once met this artist who was showing at her grad exhibition and I noticed on her hand she had a round circle of dead skin (sounds gross… it didn’t look that bad) It was around the area under the pinky on the outside of her hand. I asked her about it and she said she had a nervous habit of chewing the side of her hand… she used to smoke before to ease her nerves but now that she quit she started this little habit.  She stood there looking kind of embarrassed and said “Yeah I know that’s so weird right?”  I found it awesome… not weird, that was her little… stress reliever. Different…  Interesting! Not weird. But maybe that is what weird is, different? I feel like maybe habits can be weird but not people… or can they? Not sure if I have an answer to that but in my eyes… I have yet to find someone I call “weird”. But you see whenever I meet someone it’s like that “thing” that’s them… is them… (If that makes sense) I usually don’t find people weird it’s just who they are, another different personality in the many we have!

                For those socially oblivious souls out there, it’s okay… you’re awesome man (just try not to annoy people… READ BODY LANGUAGE please… try). I’ve stayed friends with/have friends that people might not consider the most socially normal (and I guess they’re not always people you want to leave on a one to one conversation with another friend you just introduced them to) but they still have their own… qualities. I mean I once had a friend that kind of looked like he avoided eye contact, it seemed like he would say whatever was on his mind… whether appropriate timing or not. But when you get past the social normalities (which we construct in the first place, they’re not even real) he was a really amazing person. Not to mention super talented, he had a thing for music. But here’s the thing (and something that annoys me) if you just met him upfront and didn’t try to get to know him or… let’s say give him a chance you wouldn’t realize he’s just like everyone else. I’ve noticed some people tend to categorize others (gets me angry! *breathing exercises*) but once they’re categorized it becomes easy to not consider them important. Well they’re “different” kind of “weird”… what does that even mean? It means they don’t belong in your category that’s what it means. When we do this we stop recognizing the human in everyone… by this I mean there is no general openness to the human being there is a restrictive superficial understanding and I despise it! I guess what I’m trying to reinforce here is a kind of Buddhist love for all human beings? I really feel like people need to open their minds and………. Hearts -____- (I said it okay… I said it… so cheesy oh my god. I know. But it’s true!)  

I was called weird throughout school! …  People still call me weird. I don’t think I’m weird at all. Some people have approached me with saying that it’s a good weird! A positive one (yay :3) I’ve had others who have just been mean. I have a tendency to make animated faces… this doesn’t always jive with some people. So I’ve gotten some remarks that have hurt a little… But I usually don’t care about that little percent of people because in my eyes… they just aren’t fun (logic… tis flawless).  But what I am saying is everyone is normal I guess… with qualities, where the doses of the qualities are different in each person, it leads to a different cocktail each time doesn’t it (I just like alcohol). But yeah I guess just try to stay open minded about people and try to get to know them. Everyone has something you can learn from… So be open like a jar :D… Jars with no cookies… they’re not so great you see and if their closed they can’t get any sweet cookies either. So open yours and fill it with different cookies… :D (LOL forgive my off-the-top-of-my-head-stupid example)

I think I’ll be able to sleep tonight :D (sad how that’s something exciting… I’ve kind of been an insomniac lately) I feel oddly at peace today… I think its ma music, positive attitude and the fact that I get to see my mom tomorrow! (LOL… yeah. I know I’m lame, what can I say she’s oodles of fun) <3

Well till next time beautiful people. Thank you for reading and open your jars :D ….(no sexual pun intended… for all you out there… that think things about things…that aren’t really things to think things about… *cough*) anyways stay smiling :)

~YE YEE!

Hearts&Sheit…… <3 <3 <3

Be an Optimist Prime!

Hhaha! so awesome. :D

Amazing.

Simply amazing. I would write down some of his ingenious quotes but it really is the whole speech...

Painful to think that he passed away from the relapse of the same cancer he spoke about. But amazing to see that no matter what, your intuition does guide you... his emphasis on the importance of living life before you die, interestingly enough he died at 56. Did he know he would go early? Maybe he did. What an inspiration.